In the everyday "hungama" of our crazy lives, most of us forget quite the basic things in life. These days everyone is so busy looking at the "big picture" that the poor small picture is sitting somewhere lonely in the corner. Everyone is busy thinking about how they can make the society better, but no one takes 2 minutes to make SOMEONE ELSE feel better. Like hello! Baby steps people. Yeah, yeah, we'll make the future bright but lets start by making someone's day bright by showing some concern for them.So let me ask you a question today:
The above question is the key to make one feel special. You are busy making space for your 2 feet to stand in, in the over-filled second class of the ever-crowded Borivali to Churchgate 8: 17 a.m. local, and when you are not doing that, you are busy cursing the women or men trying to squish your guts or just mainly attempting to throw you out of the train. But hey, let's just take a minute to say to someone beside you, in the similar dire conditions; Hello! How are you?
Okay now if you do something like that to a creep who is trying to take a sniff of your hair or someone who is lustfully gazing at the new tote you got from the Chor Bazaar, I am not to be blamed for the following events.
Anyway my point being, we are not the only ones struggling to make name in this highly competitive world. Everyone is wanting to fit in, to feel like they belong too. And not all days are good days, some are okay days and some are taking a toll for the worst. A hint of concern or feeling slightly important for once is something one needs on the bad days.
And it's not like it has to be to strangers or people you meet only on 'ek-chaalis ki local' or a BEST bus. It could be your teacher, your patient, your client, your spouse even. You don't need to know their bio-data to bother asking them about their mood. What possible harm can come from this anyway?
"Bhaiya, kaise ho aap?" If you ask this to the old rickshaw-wala who is going to take you on the long journey from your home to the railway station, things could go two-ways:
He is going to murmur something , possibly cursing you in his native language (which you won't even understand so you won't get offended) and spitting the annoyance he experienced from the previous customer who would not give him the change of 2 rupees(that he probably deserved after her constant 'khit-pit') on you, and angrily starting the engine; and miserably failing.
OR
He is going to give you the sweetest smile in the small circular rear-view mirror on the right side, showing his perfect set of crooked teeth and the precisely asymmetrical wrinkle lines on his cheek and by default, inducing another wide smile on your face. Oh and then he is possibly going to talk about how nice you are and how much of a miser the previous voluptuous aunty was.
And there is a high chance of him doing the latter.
But hey, don't just throw your "how are you's" in the air. I have been in situations where my dentist will ask me about my well-being like he genuinely cares for me; and he won't even wait for the answer.
{With me sitting on the chair under an excessively bright light focused on my mouth, minutes after gobbling an onion sandwich.}"Good afternoon and how are we this amazing day?" ;almost gets his head inside my fragrant mouth and after exactly 2.87 milliseconds replies; " Someone is not brushing twice a day!"
Oh I am fine today doctor. Thanks for asking so genuinely.
You know I am not lying when I tell you how important you asking about someone could be. Secretly all our hearts do a somersault when the old cashier lady asks you how you are with an ever radiant smile on her face. Like she really cares how you are today. Like somehow that piece of information matters so much. Like you matter for someone, even for a short period of time, even if you won't meet that person anytime soon.
It is also when your surgeon says ,"How are you today beta?" right before he is about to cut you open. Hey the man really does care. And atleast he is trying.
So just try it once. When you see a friend looking low, don't go and ask him/her if they are "okay". say "how are you?" Yes its obvious that they aren't well, but let them tell you their story. Don't remind them they are not at their finest that minute. Go ask the aunty who cooks your lunch everyday how she is or ask your tired father when he comes home how his day went and how he is feeling. These small things are what matter. Its like giving someone hope, hope that you bother enough about them to just spend 2 minutes of your day listening to how THEY are feeling and I promise you the shadow of the smile that falls on their face is so worth those 2 minutes. Ask someone you love, or someone you don't; someone you know, or someone you don't. Ask someone you see everyday, or someone you rarely meet. Ask anyone about themselves.
So hey, How are you?
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| Hey! How are you this fine..midnight? Morning? Or whenever you are reading this? |
The above question is the key to make one feel special. You are busy making space for your 2 feet to stand in, in the over-filled second class of the ever-crowded Borivali to Churchgate 8: 17 a.m. local, and when you are not doing that, you are busy cursing the women or men trying to squish your guts or just mainly attempting to throw you out of the train. But hey, let's just take a minute to say to someone beside you, in the similar dire conditions; Hello! How are you?
Okay now if you do something like that to a creep who is trying to take a sniff of your hair or someone who is lustfully gazing at the new tote you got from the Chor Bazaar, I am not to be blamed for the following events.
Anyway my point being, we are not the only ones struggling to make name in this highly competitive world. Everyone is wanting to fit in, to feel like they belong too. And not all days are good days, some are okay days and some are taking a toll for the worst. A hint of concern or feeling slightly important for once is something one needs on the bad days.
And it's not like it has to be to strangers or people you meet only on 'ek-chaalis ki local' or a BEST bus. It could be your teacher, your patient, your client, your spouse even. You don't need to know their bio-data to bother asking them about their mood. What possible harm can come from this anyway?
"Bhaiya, kaise ho aap?" If you ask this to the old rickshaw-wala who is going to take you on the long journey from your home to the railway station, things could go two-ways:
He is going to murmur something , possibly cursing you in his native language (which you won't even understand so you won't get offended) and spitting the annoyance he experienced from the previous customer who would not give him the change of 2 rupees(that he probably deserved after her constant 'khit-pit') on you, and angrily starting the engine; and miserably failing.
OR
He is going to give you the sweetest smile in the small circular rear-view mirror on the right side, showing his perfect set of crooked teeth and the precisely asymmetrical wrinkle lines on his cheek and by default, inducing another wide smile on your face. Oh and then he is possibly going to talk about how nice you are and how much of a miser the previous voluptuous aunty was.
And there is a high chance of him doing the latter.
But hey, don't just throw your "how are you's" in the air. I have been in situations where my dentist will ask me about my well-being like he genuinely cares for me; and he won't even wait for the answer.
{With me sitting on the chair under an excessively bright light focused on my mouth, minutes after gobbling an onion sandwich.}"Good afternoon and how are we this amazing day?" ;almost gets his head inside my fragrant mouth and after exactly 2.87 milliseconds replies; " Someone is not brushing twice a day!"
Oh I am fine today doctor. Thanks for asking so genuinely.
You know I am not lying when I tell you how important you asking about someone could be. Secretly all our hearts do a somersault when the old cashier lady asks you how you are with an ever radiant smile on her face. Like she really cares how you are today. Like somehow that piece of information matters so much. Like you matter for someone, even for a short period of time, even if you won't meet that person anytime soon.
It is also when your surgeon says ,"How are you today beta?" right before he is about to cut you open. Hey the man really does care. And atleast he is trying.
So just try it once. When you see a friend looking low, don't go and ask him/her if they are "okay". say "how are you?" Yes its obvious that they aren't well, but let them tell you their story. Don't remind them they are not at their finest that minute. Go ask the aunty who cooks your lunch everyday how she is or ask your tired father when he comes home how his day went and how he is feeling. These small things are what matter. Its like giving someone hope, hope that you bother enough about them to just spend 2 minutes of your day listening to how THEY are feeling and I promise you the shadow of the smile that falls on their face is so worth those 2 minutes. Ask someone you love, or someone you don't; someone you know, or someone you don't. Ask someone you see everyday, or someone you rarely meet. Ask anyone about themselves.
So hey, How are you?